In defense of Large Adult Son ballplayers
It’s no secret around these parts that I have long been a proponent of large-bodied baseball players who have one tool: hitting the crap out of the ball. Growing up in the early 90’s and watching highlights on Baseball Tonight of players like Cecil Fielder, John Kruk, Kevin Mitchell, and mid-to-late-career Tony Gwynn, I always found it fascinating that you could be in less-than-stellar physical shape and still be a professional baseball player as long as you could do at least one thing better than 98% of other humans. And that doesn’t even take into account large lad pitchers, who deserve their own post.
The last 15-20 years of Major League Baseball has seen the transition of almost all ballplayers into actual well-rounded athletes, similar to the flattening and homogenizing of types of Hollywood movies that get made now and the people who star in them compared to 25 years ago and beyond. MLB players now tend to condition year-round, most teams pay good money to provide good nutrition to their minor league players, and as a result, we’ve seen baseball players continue to hit new peaks of physical achievement in terms of hitting, pitching, fielding and running the bases. Large Adult Sons have become increasingly rare as the margins for non-athletic, one-dimensional ballplayers are slimmer than ever.
Rowdy Tellez is here to smack those margins into the cheap seats.
As Kenny Powers once said on “Eastbound & Down,” “I play real sports. Not trying to be the best at exercising.” This was an obvious nod to John Kruk’s infamous quote of “I’m not an athlete. I’m a professional baseball player.” The idea of natural talent being so bountiful in some that physical conditioning can be an afterthought is an idea as intertwined into the American male psyche as rugged individualism and free market capitalism. None of those ideas actually work anymore, if they ever truly did, yet we cling to them as part of our identity anyways.
With baseball, maybe it’s because we still fantasize about the possibility of the “everyman” who finds success in a professional sport. No average person rationally thinks they can play football, basketball, or hockey at a professional level just right off the street. Two of those sports might literally kill you if you’re not careful. But, baseball? Sure, I can still swing a bat. Sure, I can still sling a fastball. Sure, I could totally out-hit late career Dustin Ackley. You most definitely cannot, for the record, but somehow the thought and fantasy persists for many.
So, we pin our hopes, dreams, and aspirations on any player who most closely resembles an “everyman.” Those who were never athletic and also baseball fans who have never seen anyone who represents them on a MLB field also may gravitate to any player who is existing slightly outside the norms of a modern baseball player. This is a matter of the heart, not the head.
Photo by John E. Moore III/Getty Images
Our Managing Editor Kate Preusser caught up with Rowdy at Spring Training the other day for a few minutes and he admitted that even as someone who grew up a big San Francisco Giants fan, he’s been a bit star-struck to see the likes of Ichiro and Ken Griffey, Jr hanging out around camp.
“I still think (Ichiro) could probably roll out and hit .300 in the big leagues to this day,” Tellez said.
He says that he’s been impressed with the Mariners organization so far during Spring Training and that the focus on unity and comaraderie has been especially good. Rowdy is widely known as good clubhouse guy and he spoke glowingly of many of favorite former teammates such as Jace Peterson and Christian Yelich. He even has a very personal connection with short-lived Mariners reliever Ryan Borucki, a former roommate during his time with the Blue Jays, and he and Ryan were both groomsmen in each other’s respective weddings.
He says the Mariners welcomed him “with open arms.”
“You want to be on a team that cares about you and that makes you feel like you’re more than just a commodity,” Tellez said.
Rowdy Tellez was probably not anyone’s plan A, B, or C, but in the case of the 2025 Seattle Mariners and their lack of free agent budget resulting in some highly questionable roster construction issues, Rowdy stands to get a lot of at-bats for this team until he proves that he’s no longer the best option available. Unless, of course, he rakes like he did in 2022. A performance like that could honestly make the difference between a playoff berth or not.
At 30 years old, he’s on the precipice of the average player’s age curve into the decline phase, if not already on the downslope. Some players defy the age curve. For the sake of the 2025 Mariners, I sure hope Rowdy does just that. We’ll know at some point this weekend if he’s making the team because his contract has an opt-out deadline if the Mariners decide to pass on him so that he can try to hop onto another roster.
Do I believe Rowdy is the Mariners’ best option for a platoon left-handed bat 1B/DH/bench bat? No, but I do believe he has the most potential out of any of the available options to create joyful moments out of nothing by doing the one thing he’s most skilled at during the exact right moment.
When asked what moment during a game reminds him of why he loves baseball, Rowdy paused for a moment, perhaps flipping through all the happiest memories he could think of during his time as a ballplayer.
“At any given moment, anybody can be a hero.”