Cheers!
Ah, the good old days. Close your eyes and picture it now— Sticky floors, the lovely aromas of weed and stale beer lingering in the houses on Greek row, when the words “Syllabus Week” were buzzing amongst people all over campus, and your go-to drink choice said more about you than your major ever could (let’s just be honest).
Grab your red Solo cup as we embark on a potentially harrowing journey into the realm of college alcohol selections to uncover the hidden truths behind your go-to drink!
Of course, it goes without saying that the following thoughts are all in good fun! No offense is intended to anyone’s questionable beverage choices during their college escapades. In fact, the more regretful, the better!
Without further ado, let’s get started.
1. Cheap Beer
Starting off with a classic, we have water cheap beer. In the spirit of peak college vibes, we’ll be narrowing our focus specifically to “frat beer” (because we all appreciate an ice-cold Coors Light, but that’s not what we’re discussing here).
Cheap beer tells me you may have spent your Friday nights in a sticky basement, hoarding as many free, lukewarm Busch Lights as possible with your friends until the Frat Kings intervened with their cries to “chill, bro.” Since every frat party served as an opportunity to showcase your budget-friendly sophistication, you perfected the art of taking a sip and saying “It’s an acquired taste” with a straight face. Nowadays, you may or may not have a collection of free branded koozies, and might find yourself fondly reminiscing on your days as a local beer pong legend.
2. Vodka Red Bull
Potentially hot take incoming— If you found yourself commonly ordering vodka Red Bull’s, that’s a green flag. You were the friend always ready to hit the bars after a long study session or draining exam, no matter how exhausting the week had been— You were putting on your going out top, meeting your friends at the bar, and pounding one or two of these bad boys in the basement of Valhalla to power you through a night of drunken shenanigans on Greek row. You’re the life of the party who knows how to work hard and play hard.
3. Twisted Tea
A true WSU staple from my era as a student, pulling up to the function with a Twisted Tea bag tucked under your arm automatically earned you the title of everyone’s best friend at the party (Bonus points if it’s an outdoor darty/dager on a sunny Saturday afternoon). It’s likely that you were welcomed with open arms and cheers wherever you went, relishing the opportunity to hoist the bag of liquid gold above the heads of fellow partygoers, ensuring everyone followed the rules of “waterfalling” directly from the spout. Your presence turned every gathering into an instant hit.
4. AMF / Long Island Iced Tea
Why limit yourself to one type of alcohol when you can have five, am I right? If you regularly consumed AMF’s and/or Long Island Iced Tea’s (particularly prior to the hour of 1:00am), I’m a tiny bit afraid of you. But, you’re probably super fun— If you’re casually sipping on a concoction potent enough to fuel a small country’s nightlife scene, I know you’re down to have a good time. You might have also been known for your tendency to disappear mysteriously around 2 am— But no worries! You would always reappear at brunch the next morning, ready to do it all over again.
These thoughts come with nothing but love and endearment, as this author’s guilty pleasure drink is a Trash Can from The Coug (Chaotic good personified).
5. Tequila Shots
Ahh, my fellow tequila enthusiasts! If you found yourself advocating for tequila shots, chances are you were adored by some and cursed by others every time the words “Who’s up for tequila shots?” left your mouth. You were likely the master of rallying the group for “Just one more shot before we go,” and these days, you’re probably capable of downing anything with a straight face after enduring four years of bottom-shelf liquor that could double as lighter fluid (I’m looking at you, Jose Cuervo Gold). But hey, you’ve got priceless memories of squeezing into a crowded kitchen in a college apartment, clinking shot glasses with friends, and living life to the fullest.