Good almost all the way around!
Hello, Coug faithful, and welcome to another fall of Washington State Cougars football. Feels like it was a long offseason, for myriad reasons. But the wait is officially over, and the Cougs are 1-0 after murder-killing the Portland State Vikings on a sun-filled Saturday in Pullman. It was a great start to a season that’s going to take some getting used to as we progress, but from this perch, it’s hard to imagine how things could have gone much better than a 70-point performance by the home team.
But find the pock marks we can and will(!) because it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows for the team in crimson, especially on defense. So without further ado, let’s give our typically sometimes semi but mostly less-than serious take on what we saw Saturday.
The Good
- Chris Hutson, my word that was an incredible catch. And it couldn’t have come at a better time, because the first two series could not have gone much worse for the home team. Then Hutson laid out for an overthrown ball for WSU’s first touchdown of the season, and we were off and running.
- Pretty solid response by the defense as well, as it turned a 2nd-and-1 Portland State possession into 4th-and-4.
- YouTube TV for the win! It featured a multiview option that included the WSU game as well as the Florida-Miami game. Turns out neither was competitive, but I was still happy with this development.
- That Wayshawn Parker kid seems decent, no? First collegiate touch goes for 20 yards, and it got way better! The new guy led WSU with 148 all-purpose yards, gaining 96 yards on eight rushes and taking his one catch 52 yards.
- On the returning player front, Kyle Williams is still pretty good himself. He was constantly behind the PSU defense, gaining 141 yards and scoring twice on just four catches.
- Not to be outdone, Tre Shackleford showed some serious YAC skills himself, taking a short pass, breaking a tackle and making a house call.
- After what I’d generously term a shaky start, including a hideous underthrow of Williams that would have been an easy score, Mateer found his sea legs and became the player WSU needs him to be, using both his legs and arm to give the defense fits. Mateer threw five touchdowns on just 17 attempts, which seems both efficient and effective! Not only that, his 407 total yards and six touchdown gained him some national recognition.
- I loved Ryan Leaf trolling Nigel Burton about the 1997 Apple Cup, when WSU receivers made Burton look like a total slappy.
- We already mentioned Parker, but man, what an effort on that 54-yard touchdown, breaking tackles and outrunning the rest of the defense.
- How about Stephen Hall taking a pick end to end for a 100-yard score??!! He got some pretty good blocking along the way as well. And I remain unconvinced that Hall got that pick for any other reason than the PSU quarterback didn’t see Hall because of the crimson end zones.
- One of the best parts of a blowout win is the backups get actual game reps. In this case, backup Zevi Eckhaus got to see live action, and did pretty well, completing six of seven passes for 61 yards and a touchdown.
- We aren’t talking enough about how kickoff specialist Ryan Harris KICKED A BALL OUT OF THE FIELD AND INTO THE BLEACHERS.
- Zero sacks allowed by the WSU offensive line. Probably been a bit since that happened.
- Cool moment for new receiver Trey Leckner to take his first WSU reception 33 yards into the endzone.
- Not a bad punting effort from…Dean Janikowski? Yes. A 40-yard average isn’t bad for someone who has never punted in a game.
- Umpire Cam was pretty cool, and I wish they’d have shown it more. But it seems kind of uncomfortable!
- Is 12.5 yards per play good? We say yes! #analysis
The Bad
- Ok, we may have had our conference taken from us. But you know what? It’s a new year! With fresh optimism and a new national television contract! And then, “Hello, everyone. I’m Ted Robinson.”
Welp. Nevermind.
Ted has never been a whiz at correct name pronunciation (See: Gardner Minshaw), but Saturday was next level, as he even managed to flub Stephen Hall’s monosyllabic surname as “Stephen Hill” raced down the field for a pick six. We missed you, Ted.
- Speaking of Stephen, while the touchdown play was great, his eye discipline on PSU’s first touchdown, uh, wasn’t.
- How the hell does our punter get injured before the season even starts?
- As well as Janikowski did at filling in to punt, the extra points did not inspire confidence, as he hit the uprights twice. The entire kicking operation needs to improve in a hurry, as there were several bad snaps, one of which led to a botched try. Can. Not. Happen.
- If you were wondering whether WSU was still in the Pac-12, the reffing situation erased all doubt. First, the refs correctly ruled that the PSU quarterback fumbled and WSU got a scoop and score. Then, while the ref is looking into the monitor, the CW crew throws it to their officiating, ahem, “expert”…Michael Mothershed???
I almost fell off the couch.
And of course the ref reversed the call despite any hint of compelling evidence to do so. Like the Talking Heads once sang, same as it ever was.
- I’d like to know who though it was a good idea to interview Kirk Schulz during the game.
- The lowlight for Ted Robinson came in the second quarter during the Schulz interview, when Ted said his mom lives in Florida and hasn’t been able to watch a Pac-12 game in 12 years, clearly hinting that the Pac-12 Network was to blame. Uh, I’ve lived in Florida quite a bit since 2012, and I’ve watched a Pac-12 game or fifty, Ted. Maybe help your mom with her TV viewing? The more I think about it, I’m pretty sure Ted made the whole story up. Sounds like someone else who’s in front of the camera a lot.
- Ryan Leaf called WSU keeping Jake Dickert “an incredible feat.” Did I miss all the other offers he had?
- Am I the only person who found it weird that Nigel Burton seemed to be boasting about the fact that Portland State hired Burton’s offensive coordinator when they fired Burton as head coach?
- Ted Robinson had to inform Ryan Leaf that the Apple Cup is taking place in the Seahawks stadium, and not in Husky Stadium. Ryan, come on.
The Ugly
- I will not complain about the students. I will not complain about the students. I will not complain about the students.
- As the fine folks in our CougCenter Slack chat will tell you, my hatred for that stupid pop pass burns with the heat of a thermonuclear weapon. But apparently, for the first time in the history of Western civilization, WSU turned one into an explosive play for a touchdown. I’d turned off the game by then, as we went to spend the afternoon with some family friends. However, many people are saying the score was actually an AI-generated deep fake and you ain’t talking me off that.
Aside: The folks we hung out with are Florida Gator fans. If you didn’t know how the Gators did on Saturday, our friends were seriously discussing which other sport they should start following. Hockey was the consensus. That fan base is down bad.
Highlights!
Interviews!
This Week-Plus in Parenting
Watching tv with the youngest the other day and a denture ad came on. He says, “Imagine needing dentures. Pretty soon you will, dad.” Well then.
This Florida summer has featured several nights when a biblical horde of frogs has created a cacophonous roar somewhere behind the house. For real it’s woken me up a few times. The 12 year-old heard it and asked, “Are they mating? Some frogs are getting a booty call.” Once more, well then.
And now, after a summer chock full of leisure and spoiling, such as a trip to San Diego, track and field camp at the Air Force Academy (the oldest), multiple slumber parties with friends (the youngest), two damn weeks visiting the grandparents and cousins in Spokane without the mean parents to supervise, reality smacked the kids in the face a couple weeks ago with the onset of school. I now have a seventh-grader and a junior in high school, who celebrated his 16th birthday recently.
Moving right along.
Flag football practice starts this week, and the 12 year-old’s league recently had its evaluations and draft. He ran into his coach from last season, who said my boy would be on his team again. We really liked him, so we were pleased. Meanwhile, you certainly don’t recall this excerpt from last fall, concerning flag football season.
This week saw a tough loss to the team whose coach wears cleats, as the 5-stars gave up a touchdown on the last darn play to lose by one point to the rival Flaming Hot Cheetos. It’s pretty obvious that the team’s kids were allowed to come up with the name, because if the coach had been responsible, the team’s name would almost certainly be Junior High Flag Football is Serious and we Must Give It the Seriousness it Demands. Or something like that.
Then, later in the season…
The 5-Stars made it to the championship flag football game, but succumed in the final seconds to the Cheetos, whose coach wears cleats to the game and often presents a hard copy of the rules to an official if there’s a call he doesn’t like. The 12 year-old has taken to calling him “Coach Cleats” and I’ll be damned if I’m going to stop him.
Fast forward to this season, and it turns out the kiddo is not on last season’s team. Instead, his coach is, you guessed it! Can’t make this stuff up.
On the teen front, he’s a reserve defensive end for the mighty Dolphins this season, playing for the JV and dressing for the varsity games. Despite the fact that he consumes roughly eleventy thousand calories per day, he’s only bulked up to about 185 pounds on a 6-1 frame. This makes for some humorous situations when he lines up against some of the monsters they grow down here, but he presses on.
The Dolphins had their opener a couple weeks ago, and after surrendering a 13-0 halftime lead, found themselves down 16-13 with 90 seconds and 75 yards to go. But go they did, getting a miracle touchdown to win 20-16. 1-0 baby! Afterward, the coach congratulated the team for, among other things, winning on Senior Night. Umm, excuse me? It was the first game of the season. What am I missing?
Anyhoo, a couple days ago we had our second game. If you’ve ever heard of the term “bus team”, these kids from Tate High School are definitely that. The Dolphins…are not. At all. So this game got out of hand in the second half, and I became hopeful that the kiddo would get some time. Sure enough, he got out there for a few plays. First time in a varsity game! Ask me if I care that it took a 41-0 blowout loss to get him out there. I do not!
We also had open house for both kids this week, and I had no idea where to go and when for the high schooler’s session. What follows is the quintessential parent-teenager exchange.
The more things change, the more they stay the same.
See you next week.