The Good, Bad and Ugly of WSU’s latest Houdini Act

I don’t know how they did it, but they did it.

Greetings! Well that was something, wasn’t it? Before we get to the details, I’d like to virtually pen a quick postcard to your Washington State Cougars.

Cougs – Hello from the gulf coast, where I watched your game which ended after 1 a.m. I mentioned last week that the best wins are the stress-free wins, so could you please do more of those? Thanks in advance!

Sincerely,

A tired, old, tired and old alum

Like I mentioned after the Cougs escaped Fresno, winning is hard, and winning on the road is really hard. So no matter how it played out, we probably shouldn’t fret too much about how the Cougs got to the finish line, only that they got there before the opponent. But while that is always the ultimate goal, the process by which a team gets there is also rather important, and hoo boy does our favorite team have a ways to go in terms of the journey.

The Good

Let’s change things up a bit, and open with something that happened like 10 hours before the Cougs took the field:

• Just when you thought former Coug Ray Jackson may not have been great for live television:

Now to be fair, Ray, Washington has gained more yardage than its opponent in eight games out of eight! That’s just like being 8-0! How dare you, sir?

• Curses don’t actually exist, but it was great to see whatever issues WSU had with that awesome uniform combo fall by the wayside, even if it may have looked rather bleak for much of the evening.
• I think those Aztecs helmets are really cool. I think. But they’re so busy and complex that I can’t tell for sure.
• I don’t care when, and I don’t care how, but can we please get the ball to Kyle Williams more often? He is absolutely a difference maker, as you saw when he activated the jets on that reverse, and how he saved the game with that tipped/one-handed catch in the fourth quarter. Just amazing.
• For real though if Williams doesn’t make that play, SDSU almost certainly intercepts that pass and the game is all but over.
• That flea flicker touchdown to Cooper Mathers was just a bit open, yes? If you’re a fan of the old NFL Primetime days, there was a continuing gag that all receiver Cris Carter did was catch touchdowns. Well Cris has a near peer in Cooper Mathers, who now owns the WSU record for tight end touchdown receptions in a season.
• Great stop by Gusta, Hall and Brown on SDSU’s 4th-and-2 try in the second quarter. Also good was the part where the SDSU quarterback didn’t even look at the wide open receiver on the back side, because he would still be running.
• Very good awareness from Branden Ganashamoorthy on SDSU’s surprise pooch kick to start the third quarter. That wasn’t an easy catch.
• How ‘bout that game by Ansel Din-Mbuh?! The defensive lineman had three tackles, and they were all sacks!
• Carlos Hernandez seems to get better every week, and man it is cool to see.
• Another solid-if-not-spectacular game from Kyle Thornton, who logged six tackles and one TFL. His two biggest impact plays were when he diagnosed a first down screen pass near midfield as SDSU was driving, taking down the receiver for a two yard loss. Then came fourth down on that same series, and there was Thornton 30 yards down field in coverage, blanketing the receiver and breaking up the pass. That’s really hard to do for a linebacker! Honestly, I was stunned Thornton wasn’t flagged. Not because he interfered, but because the officials almost always throw a flag there, as we Coug fans have seen over and over.
• If you’re like me (sorry), you may have been wondering, “who is #94?” when the Cougs were running short yardage. His name is Jonny Lester, and he wears both 67 and 94!
• We heard a lot about Aztec pass rusher Trey White, who came into the game as one of college football’s sack leaders. I might have heard his name once after the game began, which is a huge credit to the offensive line, particularly Esa Pole.
• Great job by Mateer to show patience with his protection on the touchdown pass to Carlos Hernandez, which was a welcome change to all those time he’s bailed out of the pocket when his first read isn’t there.
• Speaking of Johnny gamer, that escape from a disastrous sack on 2nd-and-11, which turned 3rd-and-23 into 1st-and-10 on the game-winning drive was equal parts terrifying and exilerating.
• If William’s miracle tip/reception saved the game, Taariq Al-Uqdah’s interception changed it, as SDSU was going to get a makeable field goal try to take an eight-point lead. Instead, WSU had a three-point lead three minutes later.
• After Mateer’s go-ahead score, we may have witnessed one of the more hilarious 2-point plays of all time, and Chris Hutson dropped the reverse hand off and still hit a wide open Mateer for a circus conversion. SDSU’s defense was so clueless on the play that Hutson could have just run the ball in if he hadn’t decided to throw the ball.
• I know he may have drawn a flag, which turned out to offset, but I had no problem with Dean Janikowski sticking up for himself after getting hit on his last punt. Our kicker don’t take no shit, Jake. Calm down over there.

The Bad

• I don’t know who that analyst was, but man, he sure felt the need to file multiple “Hurt Feelings” reports when Thornton wasn’t called for interference. Get over it.
• How do you know your defense isn’t very good? When you keep it on the field to defend a punt, and the other team runs an obvious fake that gains 20+ yards. Embarrassing.
• Would have been cool if two WSU DBs hadn’t dropped interceptions early in the game.
• As great as he was on that interception, Al-Uqdah shows a bad propensity to get lost in zone coverage.
• I know Mateer is still relatively inexperienced, but his unwillingness to stand in the pocket when the blitz comes is very disappointing. There are open guys, but he panics and bails out, rarely with positive results.
• Kinda understand now why Wayshawn Parker doesn’t play more, as his total lack of effort on a pass that became a sack surely infuriated the coaches. He can’t be in the game if he’s going to just quit on plays where he doesn’t get the ball, and it was definitely not a coincidence that we saw a lot more of Schlenbaker after that.
• The NCAA didn’t start tracking sacks as a statistic until 2000? For real?
• How the f&%* do we get a delay of game flag after a change of possession? My god.
• Among the many frustrating things with this team’s defense is this – any time a WSU defender hits a ball-carrier, the ball carrier inevitably moves forward. There’s never an intstance where defender hits ball-carrier, and ball-carrier goes backward. That’s bad!
• That Mateer slide/no slide play was eventually ruled correctly, but hoo boy was it ever a journey to get there!

The Ugly

• Can’t really say anything more than has already been said about the colossally awful turf in that stadium. That garbage surface carries a real injury risk, and nobody in charge seems to care.
• I don’t know what Jake Dickert has to do to get this team ready to play after halftime, but maybe he should figure it the f*^# out.
• Hey Steiner, you made a tackle on special teams, you didn’t win the Nobel Prize. Get your ass back to the sideline and stop being a dumbass who hurts his team.
• As with more than one Cougar player in the past, it is incomprehensible to me that there’s nobody on the roster who can unseat Gushiken. Can’t play the run. Can’t play the pass. Can’t play.
• Maybe we should put somebody back to catch punts who will, you know, actually catch the punts? Crazy, I know, but that Freeman gaffe changed the complexion of the game for quite a while.

All that said, it’s yet another Sunday where we can enjoy a Coug win, yet another Husky loss, and now for the first time in over a year, a Top 25 ranking! How ‘bout that! Let us rejoice and be glad. Go Cougs.

Highlights

Interviews!

This Week in Parenting

Writing this on Saturday night, in order to get a head start and save some time on Sunday. The oldest is currently at a hockey game, after having attended a birthday party, after having taken his first crack at the ACT Saturday morning. He says it wasn’t as hard as he thought, but also he took the wrong calculator, so I’m sure math went well.

Additionally, the 13 year-old is currently at the Junior High homecoming dance, having donned his pink polo shirt, his finest pair of Air Jordans (also his only pair of Air Jordans), and a healthy dose of dad’s cologne. For real. So the house is rather quiet at the moment, and I told Mrs. Kendall that nights like these are our future. Just us and the faithful dog, Buda. Where is that dog, anyway?

We all we got, we all we need, pup. Now could you please let me type?

Earlier in the week was my first chance to watch the youngest play a flag football game this week, and, well, at least it was a good game? The mighty Argos were clearly the better team, but the other side had the best player, and wouldn’t you know it, they threw to him almost every time! No excuses, though, as the opponent converted fourth downs on three of their scoring drives, and the Argos had the ball inside the five yard line with 10 seconds left, and didn’t score, losing 33-28. Coulda shoulda.

The best part was that, for a while, the game featured five players on each side of the ball, and three refs. For flag football. Which, again, had a total of 10 players on the field. Three. Refs. Oh, and there was a dog there as well. Because it’s not enough that mom, dad and kids go watch the game. No, we gotta bring the dog along as well. Why? I have no idea. Oh, and I almost forgot, the kids were really dialed in and focused on the game, discussing such pressing matters as the worst place in the world to eat. The consensus was a jail cafeteria.

In other sports news, the Dolphins win! You read that right! The Dolphins win! Hang on, we’ve got something coming across the wire here. I’m being told that the other team’s mascot is also the Dolphins, and those Dolphins beat the brakes (fins?) off our Dolphins. I was at flag football for about three quarters, arriving just in time to see a 41-7 score and a running clock.

Ohhhh, that running clock. I totally understand the theory, which I think I’ve talked about in here before. Here’s the problem – incompetent officials. I can’t count the number of minutes wasted because the hayseeds in stripes are throwing flag after flag, in a 48-7 game (!!!), wasting several chances at more plays for the kids who don’t get much game time. But the flags themselves aren’t enough. No, that part-time refs/full-time paint-huffers have to get together and discuss everything as well. Meanwhile, tick, tick, tick, tick. I wanted to murder someone.

Our Dolphins began the fourth quarter with the ball, which was a bummer because I really wanted to see my kid play. Then, we got a big play! Maybe there will be some defensive snaps! Then, it’s snapped over our quarterback’s head! Defense recovers! I should not be happy about this but I am because it means my kid gets to play!

Now, I’m just gonna say the quiet part out loud. I don’t care about the team’s performance nearly as much as I care about my boy getting in the game. I would much rather see my kids play a lot on a bad team than watch them ride the bench on a good team. Give every parent truth serum and I’m willing to bet the vast majority would agree with me. So when our offense turned it over, I was thrilled. The kiddo took up his position at defensive end, and on the first play, made a tackle and got his name called over the PA system. Do you think I gave a flying f*** about the score? Hell no. He ended up getting his most extensive action of the season, as the other Dolphins methodically drove down the field, and he ended up getting in on a lot of plays while the clock ran out, and the offense never got the ball again. Thank god for those flags, though. The refs saved the day.

That day did not have an auspicious start, though. I give the oldest a ride to school on my way to work, and he likes to drive. The majority of the drive takes place on U.S. Highway 98, which is the only road in or out for miles, and it oftentimes makes Mad Max: Fury Road look like the Teacup ride at Disney World. The drive has always gone without incident, which may be why the kid thought he could squeeze his right turn into a very small gap on oncoming traffic. I let go a litany of curse words that damn near got us all the way to the school parking lot, which is 10 minutes down the road, and I’m nearly certain that at least 80% of his ass was missing when he got out of the car.

Then, when I got home from work, I noticed an arrow sticking out of the ground at the border of the driveway. I went inside and asked Mrs. Kendall what the deal was, and it turned out that before he tried to get himself killed on the highway, the bastard ran over and broke one of the sprinkler heads so badly that we had to call someone to fix it. And he can’t do it until Monday. I hope the kid isn’t surprised when his bank account balance takes a hit next week.