The stress-free wins are the best kind of wins
Hello! We are back in the, as Borat would say, U. S. and A.! What a long, strange trip that was. But before recounting the (mis) adventures in Deutschland, let’s talk about our 6-1, bowl-bound football team! Your Washington State Cougars are once again headed to the postseason after a one-year absence, as they almost certainly clinched a bid after defeating the Rainbow Warriors of Hawaii, 42-10.
For the first time since the three-touchdown butt-kicking over Texas Tech in week two, the Cougs got a lead after a couple fits and starts, and were never seriously threatened for the last two-plus quarters, and man was that ever a welcome change. Since then, we’ve had the heart-stopping Apple Cup win, the “probably shoulda lost but somehow won” San Jose State game, the Boise State steamrolling, and the Fresno State offensive debacle/defensive savior game. Saturday was welcome respite from the stress we’ve all experienced with our beloved team over the last six weeks.
10/10 would like every game to be like that, but alas…
The Good
- Did I mention that the Cougs are already a bowl team? Because the Cougs are already a bowl team.
- Love love loved the throwback helmet logos. Now can we please get this for one game??!! Or five?
- The Cougs scored six touchdowns, and never had to settle for a field goal, so it makes total sense that I’m leading the the actual game portion with, uh, the punter? Yep! Dean Janikowski only punted twice, but those two punts average north of 50 yards, with one going 55. Pretty good for someone who came into the season never having punted in college before.
- That was the John Mateer we loved at the beginning of the season, giving defenses fits with both his arm and legs while accounting for five of WSU’s six touchdowns. The passing accuracy was far better than what we’ve seen so far, as Mateer has really struggled in that area. I’d say 23/27 with nearly 11 YPA is a big step forward, and if WSU wants to keep winning, Mateer attaining a 60-65% completion rate is essential.
- The defense did a much job at making the opposing quarterback uncomfortable, bringing blitz packages throughout the game that we had not seen so far this season. WSU sacked Brayden Schager three times and had defenders in his face on several other occasions, logging an additional seven QB hits.
- While Hawaii had some solid counters to those blitz packages, primarily in the form of screens into the pressure direction, defenders like Tariq Al-Uqdah and Syrus Webster did a very good job of beating blocks and making tackles. Otherwise, some of those losses could have been big gains.
- Under-the-radar blocking was great, such as Wayshawn Parker getting 2-3 defenders on the Chris Hutson pop pass touchdown, Christian Hilborn taking out two guys on a Mateer TD run, and Hutson’s downfield block on Mateer’s second rushing touchdown. All those instances were so hood that I replayed them more than once.
- If Carlos Hernandez isn’t all the way back, he’s damn close. That touchdown to break the ice was a hell of a catch-and-run.
- Pretty nifty cross-field catch-and-run by Kyle Williams, who ran like 80 yards to gain 14 yards.
- Mateer showed some great patience on his touchdown pass to Cooper Mathers, waiting for the second-level defender to commit before making the throw.
- Speaking of Mathers, he’s really come a long way. That was a heckuva catch, and he brought in all four of his targets.
- Fourth quarter, 4th-and-2, Hawaii goes shortside option. WSU stops it. We’ve seen this movie before, and it always has a great ending!
- Not the most effective or spectacular ground game this team has had, but it helped keep Hawaii honest, and opened up some passing lanes for the intermediate routes.
- Third down was definitely the money down on Saturday. WSU’s offense was 7/11, while Hawaii was a big fat zero for eight.
- Hell of a hit by Jamorri Colson to force a fumble on a Hawaii third down pass that would have been a conversion. The Cougs recovered, scored to take a 14-3 lead and never looked back.
- Also in the big hit category, Parker McKenna absolutely drilled Schager to force a fumble, which WSU recovered, setting up the Cougs in plus territory to score a fifth touchdown. Those are the kinds of impact plays WSU has been lacking from its front seven.
- Cool to see Jaxon Potter get some reps, and he took advantage by completing his only two attempts for 26 yards.
- Both of those completions were to Brandon Ganashamoorthy, who doubled his career catch total. Pretty cool!
The Bad
- It seems pretty clear that Wayshawn Parker is not close to 100% healthy, and that’s bad for the rushing attack, because the guys behind him are not close to a suitable replacement.
- I mean, just look at WSU’s first possession. Facing 2nd-and-4 at the Hawaii 39, WSU gave the ball to Pulalasi three straight times. Zero yards, two yards and one yard later, Hawaii had the ball again. Feels like maybe Mateer could have gotten one of those chances? Pulalasi seems to be a decent runner between the tackles, but man, he ran right into the backs of his blockers on both 3rd and 4th down, basically taking himself out of the play.
- If you watch the highlights below, you might notice that they include a bang-bang play where Hutson catches the ball for an apparent first down. One problem, the play was a penalty because Hutson came from out-of-bounds. That might be the first time I’ve ever seen a play where WSU was penalized included in a highlight reel.
The Ugly
- The official score sheet shows WSU with eight penalties for 67 yards, which isn’t good. But I don’t know how that’s accurate when the Cougs were flagged for holding at least ELEVENTY BILLION TIMES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CAN WE THROW A SCREEN PASS WITHOUT GRABBING DEFENDERS IN PLAIN VIEW OF THE OFFICIALS??!! AM I YELLING? IT FEELS LIKE I’M YELLING BUT THIS WAS MADDENING!
- For real though the receivers really need to clean that up.
- Delta Airlines wifi, you suck the biggest suck that ever sucked a suck. I was watching the first 20 minutes of so on my phone when it was time to take off. No problem, as I planned to connect to the free wifi for the quick 50-minute flight from Atlanta to Pensacola, the culmination of a long day that began in Berlin at 3 a.m. Then, for some reason, my phone kept connecting to the network automatically, but nothing would happen, and I would never get the popup that allowed me to surf the web. All I could do was get to the Delta site. But still, the wifi told me I was connected. This was a 30-minute doom loop that I will never get back. So thanks, Delta, for your garbage internet. But at least the Old Fashioneds in the Centurion Lounge went down smooth, so there’s that.
Highlights!
Interviews!
This Week in Parenting
The Kendall house is now home to not one but two teenagers, as the youngest turned 13 recently.
Gulp.
As usual, he cleaned up in the present area. We got him a bat many months ago, and God knows what else in the interim – maybe CFB 24? Ear phones? I lost track – that we said counted as his birthday presents. The grandparents combined to send him a check, along with a couple gift cards, including one for XBox. I don’t know if there’s a record for least amount of time between “received gift card” and “redeemed gift card,” but if there was, he likely broke it. The thing must have been threatening to burn the house down, because he extinguished it quickly in the form of something called NBA2K virtual currency. A wise investment, to be sure. $50 in virtual currency? Does that buy you Wilt Chamberlain? Larry Bird? Maybe Frank Brickowski? I sure hope so.
It was a mixed bag for the mighty Argonauts and Dolphins last week. The Argos went 2-0, cruising to relatively easy victories on the flag football field. For his part, the youngest made a couple catches and didn’t bust any coverages on defense, so things are improving! The Dolphins, on the other hand, suffered another double-digit defeat to the blood rival Navarre Raiders in the “Battle of the Beach.” That’s the name, don’t wear it out. Mrs. Kendall was sending real-time updates since I was awake at an ungodly hour to catch my flight, and after falling behind, the Dolphins began to match scores.
While it seemed too little, too late, the offense was clicking and the Dolphins were trying to stay in it. We were driving to get back within a score, when this message from Mrs. Kendall arrived: “Pick 6 for 99 yards. 20-47.” Welp, that’ll be that. Up next is a Thursday night game against a team that is currently 8-0, and has won all but one game by at least 25 points.
Double gulp.
On the home front, something has gotten into the boys regarding lunch. Instead of continuing the old tried-and-true/greatest lunch food in the history of ever peanut butter and jelly sandwich, they’ve both taken to cooking actual meals and packaging them up for lunch consumption. This resulted in the youngest cooking up mac and cheese, chicken and home-derived barbecue sauce at like 8:45 on a school night. I’d say I’ve officially lost control of things at home, but that would imply that I ever had it in the first place.
Initial reviews of his concoction were, uh, subpar. I asked how his lunch was, and his face soured immediately. “It was terrible.” Well then. Turns out he doesn’t have the means to heat up food at school, and this combo of foods is not conducive to cold-served enjoyment. Then, last Sunday, after we finished dinner, the oldest starts cooking up beef and broccoli in one pan while the 13 year-old is boiling pasta and adding vodka sauce. Again, WHAT??!! I guess this is my life now, but hey, at least I don’t have to make them PB&J all the time, which means MOAR PB&J FOR YOUR BOY! I’ll take it!
Finally, when I got home Saturday, I made sure to ask the boys whether the battery-operated trimmer was charged and ready to go, because it was on my Sunday to-do list. “Yes,” I was assured by both of them. So, on Sunday before the Seahawks game I headed to the yard to trim away. 2-3 minutes later, I was back in the garage with a dead battery. Turns out the battery was not, in fact, charging over night like I’d asked. And you’ll be stunned to learn that both of them came up with some word salad excuses that never survived first contact.
The more things change…
Tales From the Road
One sign that you’ve been in a hotel for too long: you go to breakfast and the host no longer asks for your room number. In all, I spent 20 nights in my little ol’ room, and I was definitely ready to check out, even if said checkout took place at 3:45 Saturday morning.
Three weeks as a semi-tourist/semi-working person in Germany reminded me why I so loved living in that country, such as enjoying a nice hefeweizen outside on a crisp fall day…
…or walking across the actual Bridge of Spies!
But alas, these last three weeks also reminded me that the country and its people can really piss me off. In Germany, all you have to say, in any context, is “security.” The second that word comes out, Germans practice immediate compliance, and expect others to do the same. Well, that ain’t the deal with Americans, so that causes some tension. My three-man team had to work with a ton of different people to achieve our goal, and one (1) German guy was of the same mind. All the rest of them looked for reasons why things couldn’t be done, but our man Tino was different. He was going to make sure we could do all the things we needed, because as he would tell us (semi-jokingly), “You’re the Americans. You will do what you want.” It’s funny because it’s true.
Much or our work took place on a giant, largely empty aircraft parking ramp, where you could see for miles. We always stayed within the constraints of the ramp perimeter, and yet, the locals insisted on following us around in vehicles any time we were out there. Many times, someone would say, “You must stop your work now and go in.”
“Why?”
“There is a plane arriving in 15 minutes.”
“OK, tell you what. I will stay out here until I see the plane turning toward me, and then I’ll clear the area.”
You will be stunned to learn that nothing bad happened.
But even our guy Tino wasn’t enough to overcome the constipated largesse of German “security.” The most frustrating yet also perfectly apt moment came last Thursday evening, when we were attempting to get some vehicles through one of the roughly 5,434 “Security” checkpoints the Polizei insisted on setting up. For some reason, our vehicles weren’t on some access list, so of course that meant that no solution was possible. No flexibility allowed. I asked in a rather pissed off voice, “Who can we talk to who has the authority to make a decision?” The reply was hilariously, infuriatingly sad. “There is no one here who can make a decision.”
And there, my friends, you see the difference in American and German attitudes, distilled down into one sentence. Americans are generally wired to get the mission done. We are taught to think on our feet, and many of us understand the importance of pushing decision-making authority down to the person on the scene. Germans, and many others, tend to hide behind the veneer of “security,” constantly saying that decisions are above their level, terrified of deciding and acting, and constantly stressing that whatever we need to do, “is not possible.” That’s why Tino was so great, and why I will consider him a lifelong friend from here on out. Oh, and Tino also took us to a restaurant where he’s in with the staff, at which we ate and drank to our heart’s content. That also helped!
As for those vehicles, we made it through one checkpoint, but not the second one, which necessitated the air crew walking through the building (which required a German providing key card access, of course) to get to their bus and off to the hotel. They likely whined about it, which Americans also like to do when their routine is thrown off. Later on, the German Chancellor’s plane pulled up near ours, and I was standing next to Tino when Mr. Scholz disembarked, carrying his own bags. So I asked Tino,
“The Prime Minister carries his own bags? Doesn’t someone do that for him?”
“No of course not. This is Germany.”
God love ‘em.