We suck. We should stop sucking.
Welcome to week four of gambling college football season when, after a weekend that didn’t shake the landscape at all, we have a bevy of matchups between ranked teams. Which leads us to the theme for this week.
The cover photo features Buda the goldendoodle. A couple weeks ago, we were watching television in the bedroom when we noticed young Buda sitting in front of the window, longingly staring outside. It was almost as if he knew he was missing out, and that’s what yours truly, Mr. Tron will be lamenting this weekend. Our youngest is playing on a travel baseball team this fall, and Saturday/Sunday will feature a tournament that’s far enough away from the house so as to mandate a two night stay.
So not only do we have two games Saturday, we won’t be able to set up camp on our couch once the proceedings end on Saturday, which is what we did last Saturday in time for the Coug game. Instead, there will be some sort of kid-focused activity that will probably require parental overwatch, and before you know it, we’ll have missed nearly all of the day’s action. Yes, this is a strong implication that you should feel sorry for out plight.
But hopefully this can also be a learning point. Never have kids. But if you do have kids, don’t let them play sports because those sports ruin your weekends. But if you do let them play sports, don’t let them play travel ball. Trust me, I know. So while you’re bathing in college football awesomeness on Saturday, hopefully hitting on all of your parlays, teasers and the like, take a second to think about those of us suffering in silence, tethered to a folding chair at youth ball fields throughout the land, wishing we’d made better life decisions. (or at the very least, put our kid in an Uber with his baseball gear, and wished him luck)
Last Week: 8-10
Season Total: 22-26
Best Call(s) of the Week
We jumped in once we saw the Coug total come in at 54.5. Eeeeeasy $$$. We also loved loved loved Ohio getting more than a field goal at home against the increasingly sorry-a** Iowa State Cyclones. The only regret is our cowardice in not taking the ferocious Bobcats on the money line, as they won outright.
Worst Call(s) of the Week
No idea why we thought Michigan State’s corpse could hang with Washington. Just an idiotic decision. The only solace was that we knew this was a loser right away, and didn’t waste any time trying to tune into a game nobody could watch. Speaking of corpses, there’s an overwhelming stench of death coming from Tempe. Goodness. Too bad we weren’t smart enough to pick up on it! Also Kansas wtf.
Mandatory Kick to the Fellas
Pretty striking what’s occurred in Starkville after Mike Leach’s untimely passing. Unlike Jake Dickert, a defensive coach who recognizes the value of a modern offense, former defensive coordinator turned Clanga head coach Zach Arnett overhauled the offense, and in a decidedly bad way. But since we were on the under 54.5, we were happy to see MSU’s severe offensive regression. Well, that is until it decided to let LSU go up and down the field to the tune of 530 yards, while finally deciding to try scoring against LSU’s backups. And thus, a game that should have easily stayed under the total went over by half-a-motherbleeping point. Hey Zach, I thought you were supposed to be a defensive coach?
Onward.
Oregon State (-2.5) at Washington State
It’s not often that you have a game in September that will decide the conference title, but that’s what we’ve got this Saturday in Pullman, as the winner will raise the Pac-2 championship trophy. The guess here is that, while WSU has a better quarterback, OSU has two NFL-level tackles who will negate WSU’s edge rush. That, coupled with Oregon State’s overwhelming advantage in the run game will be the difference.
The Pick: Beavers
Colorado at Oregon (-20.5)
What Deion Sanders has done in Boulder is nothing short of sensational. And what really impresses me about his coaching acumen is that, despite all the bluster, manufactured grievances and overall WWE persona, the guy is incredibly calm and measured on the sideline, and he’s the one coach who is actually insightful on those often meaningless halftime interviews. But should we talk about how everyone is slobbering all over the Buffs because they rallied from 11 points down to win as a three-touchdown favorite? Congratulations?
The Pick: Oregon -13.5 first half and -20.5 for the game
UCLA at Utah (-6)
I like UCLA’s young quarterback. I like UCLA’s defensive line. I like UCLA with the points. I like that Caesar’s has this 1.5 points more than everywhere else.
The Pick: Chipsters
Arizona (-13) at Stanford
No clue what these teams are. Ok, I know Stanford is terrible. And I think Arizona is…ok? Whatever. I’ll take the points.
The Pick: Stanford
USC (-34.5) at Arizona State
Nearly 35 points? REALLY??!! Lay ‘em.
And we write this as fully committed passengers on the “Lincoln Riley is kind of a POS” bandwagon.
The Pick: USC
Cal at Washington (-20.5)
Washington has reached “minus anything until proven otherwise” status. Even in the game it didn’t cover, the cause was a litany of self-inflicted wounds near the Tulsa endzone.
The Pick: Washington
Other Games of Note
Mississippi at Alabama (-6.5)
Do I think what we’ve come to know Alabama to be is gone for at least the foreseeable future? Yes. Do I think that means they can’t beat Ole Miss at home by a touchdown? This seems fishy.
The Pick: Tide
Oklahoma at Cincinnati (+13.5)
I should take the home dog getting two full TDs in its first Big 12 game ever. I’m not doing that.
The Pick: Land Grabbers
UCF at Kansas State (-4)
Starting quarterback or not, I think KSU can cover this
The Pick: ‘Cats
Ohio State at Notre Dame (+3.5)
I think ND can hang, and Ohio State is pretty shaky at quarterback.
The Pick: ND
Oklahoma State at Iowa State (-3.5)
Yeah, Okie State is pretty lousy. But Iowa State hasn’t done a thing to merit laying 3.5 points in a conference game.
The Pick: Ok State
Friday Night Fun
- NC State (-7.5)
Rando Pick
- BYU +9.5
Sicko Plays
- App State at Wyoming Under 44.5
- New Mexico +3.5
- UTSA-Tennessee Under 60.5
LFG (Let’s Flipping Gamble)