Two can play at this game.
Welcome to Making Fun of EwDub Monday! A new article has dropped recently that Montfake is bragging about, as they placed #7 in the world for top universities, while WSU placed #397. Who would have thought Fuskies would brag about themselves? Shocking! Anyways, after that very #OnBrand behavior, I have decided to make a list of 397 reasons (in no particular order) why it’s truly the best to be a Coug, and not a Doog.
- My goodness, is purple and gold a horrible combination in practically everything. Let’s just be real, in what setting does it look good to wear purple and gold? Just a Wish/Temu version of The Lakers colors, and they do it SO much worse. Take that Alaska Airlines plane, for instance, wow. What a stain in the sky.
- Being an agriculture school. Yeah, you’re welcome for those delicious Cosmic Crisp apples, the best cheese in the goddamn country, Ol’ Crimson Legendary Lager, and so much more. But I bet you got some scrumptious dining hall food over there, half share Big Ten member!
- Never having to bark at children or other innocent civilians for any reason in my life. Truly the most embarrassing tradition in college sports.
- Never having our WSUMBB account post “Receiving Votes” after getting thrown 2 votes in the AP Poll, and then never being ranked that season. Oof! #TougherTogether
- Never having an 0-12 season. Self explanatory.
- The community and family WSU instills, as well as that undying school spirit. For example: he beautiful tradition of flying Ol’ Crimson on Gameday, as well as professional athletes and greats still proudly repping WSU non-stop following their years in Pullman. I don’t see that same mentality at EwDub. There’s an ‘i’ in Huskies, while there is an ‘our’ in Cougars.
- No traffic in Pullman, just the strict speed limit in Colfax, and the occasional mom with 5 kids driving up to Spokane! Plus, it’s such a scenic trip onto the Palouse from every direction. Can’t say the same about the school out west.
- The tailgates and the parties. Extremely obvious we know how to have the most fun, and we don’t need daddy’s boat to do it! Too cold out here? Grab a little fireball to keep you warm. Don’t think I haven’t seen you undercover Doogs coming out east to experience our parties.
- The live mascot isn’t even a husky, its a malamute! Washington Malamutes. Rolls right off the tongue. Meanwhile, the Cougs have live mascots so dangerous it’s got state patrol out looking for them when they wander down from the mountains. Cute though!
- Playing all our games in the West, and not jumping ship for the nearest cash grab. I’m sure the move to the Big 10 with reductions for the foreseeable future and those Friday night games will do you wonders! Great choice. I’ll take my games that I can easily travel to and doesn’t harm my athletes’ experience with constant cross country travel, thank you very much. I will say both schools stuck to their identities. One is self preservation and make the most bucks possible, one is about making sure the fans and athletes are treated right. Can you guess which is which?
Alright, that’s enough thinking about my least favorite school, I may return to this later if people enjoyed the jests and shade. All in good fun, I approve whole heartedly of education and student development, even over there! Go Cougs and Dubs Down, hope everyone has a wonderful 4th of July and got their boss to approve the 5th off! Until next time.